The weirdest,  most wonderful and downright depressing stories that came out of Pakistan this past week.

Simon Henderson of The Sunday Times should be given an award (an all-expense- paid trip to North Waziristan, perhaps?) for writing what is surely the first pro-A.Q. Khan story to be published in the Western media. His defence of the disgraced nuclear scientist will be familiar to those who read Pakistan’s more hawkish newspapers; the added wrinkle is that A.Q. Khan sent him a letter explaining the ‘true story’ behind his smuggling activities.

Minister of the Interior Rehman Malik wants to abolish capital punishment, except when he doesn’t:

He said terrorists who had been sentenced to death would not be pardoned if the capital punishment was abolished. He said a draft had been sent to the law division for consultations to abolish the capital punishment.

Mullah Omar tells the West to study the history of Pakhtun resistance against imperial forces, but shows that he probably failed the subject in Madrassah High:

Omar said the US and Nato should study the history of Alexander the Great, whose forces were defeated by Pashtun tribesmen in the 4th century.

Alexander, of course, was routed about 600 years before the 4th century.

Catching terrorists can be hard; spelling their names is impossible. One local newspaper reported that Uzbek terrorist  Nazim-ud-Din Khilalof had been killed in a drone strike. Another announced that Nazimuddin Zalalov was the man who had perished. They were both referring to the same person.

Tazeen at A Reluctant Mind writes about a Aamir Liaquat Hussain-Junaid Jamshed exchange that would be truly outrageous had the pair not stopped shocking the conscience many years ago. In a discussion about the food stampede in Karachi, Jamshed declared, along with many other such utterances, that poor people should follow religion and not worry about food. Read the whole thing.

Punjab Governor Salmaan Taseer gently suggested that Pakistan may want to rethink the blasphemy law. That, according to Jamaat-e-Islami head Syed Munawar Hasan, is blasphemous.

And finally, let’s end on a positive note. Quote of the week comes from Pakistan cricket captain and unstoppable quote-machine Younus Khan:

Ab hamara bhi jeetne ka haq banta hai