Unflattering light: Whoever dug up the latest dirt on Mansoor Ijaz must be having a silent chuckle.

Oh dear, just when the Islamic Republic of Pakistan had seen enough of public nudity in 2011, courtesy Veenagate, the New Year rings in another naked gaffe beating itself up on a shaggy carpet. This time it’s the key Memogate actor in the limelight. Newspapers are abuzz about the clash of the bikinis in DJ Junior Jack’s 2004 club hit ‘Stupidisco,’ which was uploaded to YouTube in 2009 and features Mansoor Ijaz (see full video below). Because of Ijaz’s surprising cameo, everyone and his sanctimonious mullah will have seen, or will watch, “The World Ladies Wrestling Championship Final” to catch a glimpse of the infamous Pakistani-American businessman at the 2:47 mark on the video announcing, “There’s some very good tumblin’ goin’ on here.”‬

It’s ironic that while the bikini-clad wrestlers, the slim and sexy Nasty Nancy and Double-D, face-off in what Ijaz, as match commentator, pitches as the match of the century, the bigger denouement to a thrilling clash of wits may be just round the corner, as Pakistan and the Memo Commission wait for Ijaz, a US citizen, to finalise his travel plans. In the meantime, his defence counsel, Mohammad Akram Sheikh, will probably be inundated with calls about Ijaz’s role in the video – for the record Ijaz has verified its authenticity, saying he did it for his wife’s best friend – and for a while people will, possibly, digress from wondering whether Research in Motion (RIM) will be able to provide the highly encrypted data from BBM and SMS messages on Mansoor Ijaz’s and Husain Haqqani’s Blackberrys.

In the meantime, while we wait for Ijaz to land onshore, we can watch every man’s soft-porn fantasy come true and wonder whether the mullah-morality brigade will raise a hue and cry about Ijaz’s voyeuristic leanings and participation in such a smutty video, or whether they’ll forgive him because he’s a man, unlike Veena Malik, who was so obviously, a woman.

Whoever dug up the dirt on Ijaz must be having a silent chuckle. Maybe it was Ijaz himself, in an attempt to deflect attention from his upcoming testimony and to hold back the Memo Commission! Things couldn’t get wackier in this nation, especially when Supreme Court judges and religious leaders will probably consider it their national duty to watch the video. They might agree with Ijaz when he says, “She’s givin’ it to her good now. How do you like that Frank, it’s some pretty good action ain’t it.”

But they should be forewarned, as the video states in the beginning, “Some scenes may be unsuitable for sensitive people.”

On Thursday, in the typically ambiguous and confused style he consistency displays, Rehman Malik added to the ongoing Memogate storyline by stating that Ijaz may or may not arrested on his arrival, but was prepared to offer the businessman full security.

It seems like there will be “some very good tumblin’ goin’ on here.”

Click play to watch Mansoor Ijaz perform in the video for ‘Stupidisco’ as a “favour for his wife.”